Recovering from mental bankruptcy
This past year I’ve been suffering from a slowly encroaching feeling of mental bankruptcy. It’s like my ability to think, focus, and be present has burned off like chaff after a cane harvest. Part of this is due to my job. Software engineering has warped and twisted with AI coding agents to the point where comparing when I started to now is like comparing a car before and after feeding it through one of those machines that squash cars into cubes. The core issue with coding agents in terms of my mental bandwidth is the speed at which they firehose code out. Instead of crushing a ticket every day or two, I now routinely smash out 3 or 4 a day (in less than 6 hours of actual focused work at that).
The result of shoving my head in this particle accelerator of text generation has been that I usually achieve a headache from task switching and soaking in reams of code via my eyeballs by lunch. I arrive home feeling fucked by a power hammer; with little energy left to do much besides read a comic book. Clearly, something needs to change, because this is not a sustainable way to live, thrive, and survive (as Jake and Elwood Blues once said).
“The important thing is that there should be a space of time, say four hours a day at the least, when a professional writer doesn’t do anything but write. He doesn’t have to write, and if he doesn’t feel like it, he shouldn’t try. He can look out the window or stand on his head or writhe on the floor. But he is not to do any other positive thing, not read, write letters, glance at magazines, or write checks. Either write or nothing…. I find it works.
Two very simple rules, a: you don’t have to write. b: you can’t do anything else. The rest comes of itself.“
– Raymond Chandler
My inspiration for fixing this problem comes from the titan of hard-boiled detective fiction, Raymond Chandler. He wrote the idea back in 1949 (in a letter to a friend) with his two rules for writing: he didn’t have to write, and he couldn't do anything else. It was sit at the desk, and either write or do nothing useful/productive. It must have worked too, Chandler’s writing is some of the foundations of the genre to this day.
In order to bring Chandler’s rules forward from the age of the typewriter into the age of the touchscreen, there’s one bedrock principle we’ll use - “treat your attention and focus as a finite resource each day”. Using this, we can expand Chandler’s two rules into four general guidelines for preserving our ability to focus in the digital age:
Do one thing at a time
The ultimate distillation of Chandler’s two rules - when at work, do the work or do nothing. I find that I pay a heavy price for switching between tasks - expending my attention points faster (and winding up with a headache). The cure is to work on a single task at a time. Multi-tasking is best left to computers. Deep focus, and conserving my attention points so that I still have some at the end of the day requires me to single task. Just as Raymond Chandler suggests.
No non-essential screens
Not exactly ground breaking, I know. But it’s worth making clear, because our phones are a terrific way to accidentally multi-task and context switch (thus burning the day’s attention points). Apps, especially social media apps, are designed with dark patterns to keep us engaged with them. The phone operating system itself is a menace - notifications, animations, sounds, bright colours. All of it combines to become a device built to grab our attention and not let go once the screen is one.
In today’s world, it’s not easy to do without a phone. But we can be purposeful about what we’re going to use it for. Don’t open your phone speculatively - always have an explicit essential purpose in mind before reaching for it.
Take boring breaks
The other distillation of Chandler’s two rules - not feeling “focus-y”? Stare at a wall for 10 minutes. Or out the window at the birds. Basically, use your “can’t work, can’t do anything else” breaks as a kind of urban meditation. Do not pull out your phone. These breaks are a meditation, not a procrastination (and I’m serious about staring at a wall - set a timer and just…watch the paint dry).
Be present in the small moments
This one’s for those small and liminal moments between things happening. Your daily commute, waiting for a friend/doctor/co-worker to show up, driving somewhere, etc. It’s simple - stop blowtorching your mind with ‘content’ every waking moment. Let your mind luxuriate in the peace and quiet, so it can recover and rest. Eat a meal without watching a YouTube video (if you’re eating alone). Walk to places without headphones in, and without touching your phone. Drive to work in silence. When waiting for someone else (a friend, a doctor, a co-worker), just…wait. Just don’t pull out your phone and give yourself more psychic damage from short-form content designed to enrage you and make you hate your fellow man.
This is not the totality of what I’m experimenting with on my way to recover from the digital brain damage of the modern day. However, it’s enough to be generally useful for most people - and I do like a good 80/20 solution. If you’re going to try these four rules, ~stick with them for at least a week~. Much like quitting sugar in tea/coffee, it takes about that long for you to see results (or for your tastebuds to change).
As for what else I’m doing - I’m slowly moving out of the digital world, and into the gloriously analog. I write more and more with a pen and paper (I carry a memo book and pen in my wallet). I’ll probably write about that at some point, but there really aren’t rules for it (or a strict process I follow). Paper is a non-linear space, and you can use it however you wish. It’s what makes it great; you can shape it to suit your needs - tracking tasks, sketching, writing ideas or a story or essay - whatever you need or want. Paper provides a space with unlimited potential, and no dark patterns demanding your attention. I use my notebooks because I enjoy doing so, not because they are designed to hold my attention in order to fuck my mind and wallet over.
I’m glad you’re here. If you try these ideas for yourself, send me an email and let me know how it goes.
Justin
This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0